Using Havening to Enhance Intimacy in Relationships.
In this psychoeducation video, Dr. Kate Truitt walks us through how to use havening to enhance intimacy in relationships. She begins by explaining that self-havening consists of three soothing touches that engage receptors in our skin which have direct links up to our brain. When the receptors are engaged they create a calm, soothing environment in our system.
She then discusses the importance of having a space where our mind and body feel safe in a relationship. In order to bring havening into the relationship, both partners should learn the havening touches and cultivate a distraction inventory. Several related videos are recommended and linked in the YouTube description of the video.
Two Steps to Being a Better Listener & Communicating More Effectively
Dr. Kate Truitt explains that reflective listening is a really powerful tool for letting other people know that we care, see, and hear them. By getting the “me” out of the way, we can connect with them.
She walks us through how to effectively enact reflective listening. First, we need to make sure that we are in a headspace where we can be present and truly hear what they’re saying. Once the other person communicates their point, we should take a moment and paraphrase what we think they’ve heard back to them. Then we ask them if we’re correct, and if we aren’t then we should invite them to share more and provide clarity for us.
When we can correctly answer what is going on with this person right now, and have that information verified by the person we’re speaking with, then we know that we are effectively listening and creating space for deeper connection.
The Push Pause Exercise for Creating Space in Difficult Moments
In this psychoeducation video, Dr. Kate Truitt explains that one of the best tools for creating space is called the Push Pause Exercise. It creates space in a conversation for our mind and body to reset, and it’s critical to teach the people we interact with on a daily basis the tool as well. If everybody agrees that this is a useful communication strategy, then it can help everybody involved.
As soon as anyone pushes pause, then everyone is invited to stop and check in. Dr. Kate suggests using the break to utilize havening tools or a brain exercise. One of the key parts of push pause is that there is no request nor requirement to share what was coming up in the moment before pause was pushed. She explains that this is twofold: perhaps the person doesn’t know or they don’t want to share.
The push pause button can take as little as 20 to 30 seconds. It’s a space creator in a conversation for everybody to reset and get back into healthy connection as opposed to having their brains hijacked.
She invites us to share this tool with the people around us, especially those that you tend to have difficult conversations with.
Why You Get Triggered When Having Hard Conversations & What to Do About It
Dr. Kate explains why we get triggered when we experience hard conversations. It usually only takes one stimulus to cause our body to go into that electric state of being triggered. We have the ability to find the stimulus in hindsight. Sometimes the stimulus can be who we’re interacting with, and other times it can be a stimulus from the past leaking into the present.
Then, Dr. Kate guides us through an in vivo exercise. She asks us to find an experience where we felt immediately frozen, defensive, or annoyed. Rewind that experience to find the specific moment we felt our body was hijacked. What was the cue that we were in a state of threat?
There are two main reasons that cause Amy to overreact, Dr. Kate explains. The first is if the past is intruding into the present. The second is if our energy is depleted, causing our tolerance to dwindle. Dr. Kate prompts us to find what is the straw that broke the amygdala’s back?
By practicing CPR for the Amygdala, breath work, self-care, yoga, and thought challenges, we can ensure that our energy and tolerance are well taken care of. Dr. Kate also notes that the more we learn about how and why we respond in a given moment, the more power we have to regulate our mind and body.
Couples Therapy & Relationship Counseling
Isn't it Time to Come Back Together?
“Problems can be experienced as… a chance for renewal rather than stress.”
– Marilyn Ferguson
Each person in a relationship has the capacity to attune to and support the other’s growth. Through creating the space to examine and connect, couples are sponsored to engage in an intimate exploration of being in relationship with each other. Our team provides a safe and nurturing environment to build on strengths while respectfully and lovingly addressing inherent challenges and differences.
Counseling and relationship therapy creates opportunities to foster trust and provide a solid foundation that is necessary for building a successful relationship. With a focus on facilitating safety within the relationship, the work is about fostering communication and revealing one’s self through an expression of feelings and thoughts, without assigning blame.
It is time to start living.
Imagine a life in which you have the tools and techniques to do more than survive. Imagine a world where you wake each day knowing you are choosing to actively thrive within your relationship. Imagine a universe in which you are truly and completely alive. Now imagine that you don’t have to imagine — this is your reality when you Choose You and Sponsor Your Best Life.
It is time to Live Your Excellence. Dr. Truitt and her team have dedicated themselves to empowering individuals to overcome and heal the painful wounds that derail even the greatest loves. It’s time begin your journey toward living your fulfilled and inspired life. Contact Dr. Truitt and her team today!
You know that feeling you get when you have a really big presentation coming up that you aren’t quite ready for? On top of that you have plans to go see those in-laws this evening that you just don’t quite get along with? Or perhaps your car is making that strange noise again and how can you find the time to get is checked? We all experience situations that bring up some level of stress, worry, and discomfort.
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